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Light & Darkness: The Mystical Way
Through many years of lived experiences, research and writing I know and embrace shared experiences, the mystical environment, and reading condensed material from some of the most prolific writers/scholars on mysticism, to writing for decades deeply embedded truths within my very own heart and soul. The journey was tough at times, but overall, very interesting. I am presently aware and delighted about the lessons learned.
Light & Darkness: The Mystical Way
(This Spiritual Writing is an Experiential Testimony & Study)
By
John Evans
Sunday, August 13, 2023
Slowly, the morning sunshine fills the room opening the shutters as a thought enters my intuit nature and thinking on what does covenant, intimacy, and union of the human soul with God mean to me. A covenant by way of understanding one's own personal need for commitment through love; whereas should it be beauty you seek, the outward beauty appeals to the lower nature, but the higher nature appeals to the divine and a heavenly Kingdom. But this heavenly Kingdom is already within you. When the small, still voice of God shouts your name as you hear from your soul loud as thunderclaps, and you see flashes of light as a nuclear explosion intuitively, knowing you intuit will in coming to know Divine Providence, possessing feelings to be in relationship with Christ, and the essence of holiness speaks to you, you embrace covenant. Covenant is marriage to Christ, and to be the Bride of the Holy One, a Gift of our Heavenly Father. When one desires eunuch souls one desires intimacy on the deepest level. To seek truth on her deepest level, justice through mercy, life to serve, give, and to surrender to those in need, all relational to loving Our Lord Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind, and might, and to love out neighbor as ourselves, then, this is everything holy, drawing us deeper, nearer, and more intimately into covenant.
"The soul must be strained by light and by grace, to see God,"
exclaims Meister Eckhart in his Sermon 30 message.
"The intellect's work is onefold, and therefore it is better." Its work is knowing, and it never rests till it touches nakedly that which it knows, and it goes ahead of will and declares to it what to love."
INTRODUCTION
The Gifts of the Darkness & What it has to Offer the Human Soul
Upon my own experiential testimony of St. John of the Cross' "the ascent" and "the dark night," all the while studying The Living Flame of Love, the ascent reminds me to remain gentle, go slowly, intuitively, lovingly, and with grace as your primary counsel. I proceed into this dark night, but "hindsight is better than foresight," I have learnt, yet all the while here, for myself there are allegedly five encounters to gain insight from:
1. We learn from experience.
2. And yet, if we could gain the insight into said query, we potentially may be able to alleviate pain and suffering.
3. But then we would not benefit from the gifts the darkness' offers.
4. Aftereffects of the "Ascent" and "the Dark Night" with Lessons Offered individually, collectively, and laterally.
5. "The soul must be strained by light and by grace, to see God."
AFTEREFFECTS
Individual Laterally
The Ascent "And the light shines in the darkness
And the darkness did not comprehend it." Same.
John 1: 5, TOSB
"The soul must be strained by light and by grace, to see God." Same.
Darkness "And the light shines in the darkness Same.
and the darkness did not comprehend it."
John 1: 5, TOSB
"The soul must be strained by light and by grace, to see God." Same.
Such, as with time, I have attained the ascent and have endured the darkness my soul may ever be required to experience. The Holy Spirit has, in fact, "refreshed [my] soul with the quality of divine life," as stated within the pages of The Living Flame of Love:
My Spiritual Interpretation
"O living flame of love, that tenderly wounds my soul," and as St. John mystically articulates that his stanzas, "treat of a very intimate and elevated union and transformation of the soul in God."
Through this observation I can clearly state that the wounding of my soul has been an undying manifestation of my own mystical experiences throughout my entire life. God wants union and dialogue with us as he created us to be one with Him.
I, as St. John of the Cross, am poet. I have written two poetic manuscripts whereas, the second book I consider regardless of the title to be a treatise on suffering and the writing itself is a spiritual union with God.
This fact correlates attentively, mystically, and intimately with St. John OTC through his bonding as Discalced Carmelite during the middle ages till my 20th & 21st century poetics.
Primordial Moon
(I Am: the Tiny Mustard Seed) 2017
By John Evans
"Raindrops bleed stoney words upon an open terrace during the years of silver age/silence continues dancing in darkness and trauma's incubus hence, suffrage days/Three A.M. and my comrades in arms adjourn as souls search out there altered states/cirrus clouds of standing air sift their desert rooms as vultures gather nearby soon/these shadowed vapors snare the written art and the gods speak as if from distant parts/and ancient sands bequeathed of time as solitary poets labor for a rhythmic rhyme/darkness falls where misery slept, and mountains moved of Sinai's bliss, with cloistered nights of rhythmic vain, consumed as thus a bitter rain/Dusk surrounds this crescent moon bequeathed by God from dust come two/Depths of nature and nocturnal sweat, night-tide's thirst and naked fires for salted flesh/o praising sands of vestments she as a pulsing burn wraps around these sacred [words]/rising in the sunlit morn a beaded sweat from a literary form/the warmth of sunshine fills the room, for not a soul escapes primordial moon."
My Personal Synoptic Life with Jesus Christ & Mystical Experience
A worrisome, though quiet afternoon spent in a spiritually mystical moment of holiness did not elude us. Through our modest attempt we aspired to reconcile a potential divorce. This could be our last chance. Our hearts and souls worked together, though our minds appeared separated upon the end of our espoused reconciliation. I was for the marriage while she was not. But there do remain good experiences even when espousal love no longer exists.
Life for me became incredibly difficult and unbearable as if someone turned out the lights. I was all alone with my arrogance, ego, and lascivious desires. Little time had passed when the fear took over and I began to panic.
Earlier in my espoused life I experienced three brilliant flashes of white light on three separate occasions. During two of the occasions my wife was with me. When I was much younger, I heard an auditory locution from deep down in my soul on two occasions. After we divorced (traumatic for me), I witnessed my new rosary light up in the palms of my hands in a very dark room. The only thing I saw was the rosary light up. I had an insatiable appetite to discover and learn all I could in biblical studies and scripture. I learned to pray the rosary. And during an intense struggle with fear when I witnessed in my mind being alone throughout my life and considering the ideation from suicide, a strong hand on my left shoulder was felt. When I turned to see who startled me no one was there. Also, one morning leaving for work a young bull was wrestling with my stairwell down to my car. I became frightened and went back upstairs. Not long after this I went into a very dark way of life. I think now, 46 years later, God was trying to get my attention. A young widow I met tried comforting me telling me God had a purpose for me, as if he really had a special purpose for me. At that time, I left the church out of fear.
When I was in church, I felt hot, sweaty, fearful, panicky, and would leave the service. From this point onward I had a powerful desire to go to church. But I would drive to the location early and sit in my car waiting and as I watched parishioners going into the church I began to panic. Everything that occurred in church was happening inside my car. So, I quit going. I think I was fearful at the time because of the Holy Spirit. He knew all my sins, and I became afraid. I realize now I had had a severe panic attack … just as Francis of Assisi had a panic attack in the movie Brother Sun, Sister Moon. Frightening! So now, I am going naked before the reader aspiring to become as transparent as possible. My naked heart and soul, transparent, a much better way.
After many years passed, I began to study Christian Mystical Theology, Sufism, and the Kabbalah; all three mystical paths to union with God. I studied the Orthodox Study Bible from the eastern rite. All three religious entities and as I was trying to describe our mystical espoused union knew that we participated and cooperate with the divine will of God thus being in a holy union with the Holy Spirit, and this was a gift. I was not afraid any longer at this point but discovered too much trauma in my life, mental, emotional, physical, and even sexual, transformed me into a very disturbed young man struggling and suffering from a Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Darkness prevailed and manifested itself in many ways. But my very Real experiences took hold of my soul quite deeply where I always felt, sensed, or knew I was living in God in a mystically spiritual way. Through my present state of memory living in the present moment can now recollect hidden meanings of the beauty and transcendence experienced within a past memory whether good or bad; yet I knew and reaped incredibly deep feelings for a delightful fulfillment of things to come. And the only other soul in human history I knew who faced a similar life was John of the Cross. Now he was a soul I could get excited about, after all, his experiences and mine evolved much in the same spiritual manner. I began to have hope, and hope is a very essential thing. This is the reason I now build people up instead of assaulting them as I had during my darkness. I felt my past taught me many mystical variables when believing turned to knowing. For me, this became a very special and essential criterion for spiritual catharsis, liberation, healing, and cleansing. I also began to feel that I was at the mystical doorstep to union with the Holy One. I discovered I felt where hope stepped up to greet me for my next life upon death of a body and soul would carry me into the fullness of the Gospel story and of Heavenly, Ecstatic, Serene Revelations of what was to come. Again, a thing where I can get excited for and receive life more abundantly as promised through Jesus Christ. And this made me happy to have endured the darkness, another gift from my Heavenly Father.
I recall another day outside working (1978), where two young women passed by and looking my way. One of these two ladies asked the other if she had seen that, as the other lady exclaimed, she had. It occurred to me the Holy Spirit was visiting me to demonstrate to others that God is of the Real hence creating believers out of other people who may not have had this opportunity. This moment was Pentecostal to me where I felt holiness pervaded my heart and soul and was transforming a young soul as myself (aged 24), and my two neighbors by the intense Power of the Holy Spirit. I personally like to speculate my God of Heaven and Earth is graciously generous with gifts for the poor of spirit; and that, "by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain," 1st Corinthians 15: 10 NKJV.
Whenever I read mystical works by Thomas Merton, St. John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, Rabi'a, modern day Richard Rohr and Rabbi David A Cooper, I become excited because the readings seem to purify my soul. I become one by way of experience with each author. The overall experiential truth about God is he never changes, though so full of mystery, so much I do not understand, it seems clear in my heart these authors too, and through their verbiage allows me the opportunity to witness myself that grace and experience work together as a testimony to my faith allowing variegations of hope enter my being. I believe souls are aligned, not just with each other by with God, too.
Allow me to recite through the written word St. John of the Cross' poem The Living Flame of Love:
v "O living flame of love / that tenderly wounds / my soul/in its deepest center! Since / now you are not oppressive, / now consummate! If it be / your will: / tear through the veil of/this sweet encounter!
v O sweet cautery, / O delightful wound! /
Here now, I may utilize what I have learnt so intuitive methodology that increases the more truthful biblical scriptures may be understood as life skills, I must master to living a godly life, at least I know I do. But this intuitive methodology stretches truth a bit further as it can transcend hermeneutic logic that is the intuitive logic Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism), uses. So, I enter the mysteries of the Jewish faith.
Talmudic reasoning as has been believed by some is not Aristotelian. This logic is what I have used today, but back to hermeneutics, this is the Talmudic way. This I learnt is where thought and reason associate with torah and history respectively. Feeling associates with deep down in heart and soul.
What I can see is, Talmud looks to be a series of observations and interpretations that can remind me that Mishnah is the Oral Law of a generational approach by the elders who know the mystical way.
Torah is the written law and Midrash is the unique genre of Rabbinic literature developed because of intense examination of biblical writings,
I believe regarding Jewish, Christian, and Sufism (Islamic mysticism), are a very much needed ingredient essential for the world to know peace today. I feel a worthy examination by all people into their respective mystical theologies is rich with pure, golden, nuggets of truth, much deeper than what is outwardly spoken, today. These mysteries of mysticism must be developed within every heart and soul open for dialogue to ready myself and others to another, more spiritual language. After all, the authenticity of Christian, Jewish, and Islamic mysticism, say is nothing but living out the respective sacred text to a much deeper level of consciousness. This very well may bring about a new genus of humanity who could bring to the world. A new genre of peace, not war, but civil peace surrounded by a loving relational class of people dedicated by heart, and a much deeper love and union with God. As author of Mystical Theology: The Science of Love, William Johnston writes,
"and in this context, one opens one's heart to the Holy Spirit who is the blind stirring of love, the living flame of love, the inner light, the cloud of unknowing, the dark night of the soul, the secret and loving wisdom."
I, personally, would love to take life in a more meaningful manner to open my heart to the Holy Spirit, witnessing the promises of Christ Jesus, who stated, "These things you see me do, you also will be able to do, and more." So, we know the potential is always within us to do good works by our faith in Jesus Christ.